I made a slideshow!

I want more people to know about my calligraphy, I have
a good time doing it, and it comes easily to me, as long
as someone adores the style, and doesn't try to make me
conform to some rigid thing they've already seen. I will
hook up some links tomarrow to my site, and then I'll have
something to refer people to. The last job I did was for
Hermes, they opened a store here. Happy for the opportunity!

Night Blooming Cereus

I Hate it when I don't post.

I went to Colorado, then I went to see the Space Shuttle take off.

It is one of the neatest things mankind has accomplished, I am stunned by it every time. I want to get as close as I can to it, to hear it and feel it, the way you feel the base drum go by in the parade, and have it echo into your stomach. I can see it take off from down the street here, like 250 miles away, but its like a welders torch flame 2 blocks away. I've driven the trip like 6 times now, to only see it take off three times. I saw the one that blew up, running back and forth to the house to see why it suddenly stopped, I stood outside boo hooing with the rest of the country.

We have new chickn babies, and the hen took the chikns and left the nest. I cleaned out what eggs didn't hatch, and upon carrying the eggs to the trash, i heard the distinct sound of peeping. Horror-stricken (chickens can do that to you) I searched the trash, thru exploded eggs, thru trash, and had to lay all the eggs out in the driveway while i held my breath, to find the peeping egg. FINALLY i got it, put it in a box with a light on it, and behold. A new house chicken. The others were a good 3 days older, there was no way to put this one with the others. It couldnt keep up, much less her rejecting it. This one is now a few weeks old, and still hasn't shut up. I never heard a chicken talk so much. I have no idea if its a boy or girl, but it is incredibly independent and is not much for being held, but wants to run along wherever we go, and its hard to watch your feet and walk. My husband is trying to teach it to sit, we'll see. I would keep him/her in the house more, but it talks constantly. Not the annoying peep peep type "i need attn" but more a constant rattle of chikn conversation. Wish me luck.

We had an odd event. A chicken here seems to have fallen in love with the pig. They sleep together, all nestled up, and she guards his food, I've seen her fly up at the burro, and he ran off. She walks around all puffed out, like he's her baby or something, and I caught this video on my phone.



More news as it plays out, here at S.A.

Somebody's Gettin' this for Xms

Not a great scan, but it's ok, it's sold.

Aud's on a Roll

Part of the second mural for Mansion La Palma in Bay Colony.
It's over the top. It's a pool bath, why not have some fun.



I saw this at a friend's house and had to paint it.

SummerJazz '07

I think maybe that I've been doing this poster for around 12 years straight? Somebody tell me.
(I live in a world with no concept of time)
This one will make a great T shirt, go to http://www.cafepress.com/audreyheffner
Give me a minute to get it up there.

Armadillos Have Shrek Ears.

This baby was 6" long, Nico found it at work!

Our Impenetrable Fence

Our yard is totally fenced, and this is about the 5th one so
far. This one, tho, was huge. Did he know there was a lake
3 fences and a brushpile away? We turned the hose on for
him and he drank, then Dad and Bink took him to the lake,
in a chickn bucket.

An armadillo visited again last night, made so much noise
I KNEW he'd never hear the back door squeak, so I snuck
out and sat on a stone wall and waited for him. They don't
bite, right? He came within 3 feet of me, and stood up like
a bunny, decided something was just not right, and he
scooted off, not really in a hurry, but kind of nervous.
I could hear him across the yard scrapin' around for bugs.

There's more chicken babies, one so far has disappeared
and another almost disappeared yesterday. We had a
wind storm, it knocked over things in the yard, notably 2
sheets of plywood resting on the fence. What would be the
chance that at that very moment, a chicken baby would be
walking by? This ends good. Don't panic. Yes.
The plywood fell over on the grass, and the chicken baby
was under it, BUT. What saved the chickn baby was
the fact that there had been a rake against the plywood,
which landed tines up under the plywood, and guess who
was found up against the tines? Yes, a perfectly healthy
but frustrated baby chikn that had been sitting in one place
for at least 4 hrs. Her legs were a bit stiff, but she found
her mother in 2 seconds and was out eating immediately.
We were amazed.

King of the Hill

Dogs I Have Known

Top, there's my
sister's little poodle,
then a pic I painted
before we ever got
the dog called Cecil,
and the chromosomically
challenged Irish Setter.
I painted these for
notecards years ago,
and was amused when
I found a couple of them
in a box recently.

New Mural

Pool Bath, Men's Room, Mansions La Palma in Bay Colony, Pelican Bay, Naples FL. whoo. Long name. Took about a week, as I kept going back, the place is absolutely a beautiful place to be. The manager had seen another mural I had done, and he contacted me. Ralph Sanchez, thank you. I have another one to do for them, for the women's, a florida beach one, and I can do that at home. Oh, and that bottom right square is a mirror.


It's about 4 x 8' and so is the other. I forgot to paint the flag before I took the pic!

It's the 18th hole at the Bay Colony Golf Course. Hurricane Wilma took all the trees and shoved them to lean to the left. A lot of my trees at the house lean now too. I made the title of this post a link to the big version. I like the water and the retaining wall.

A Squeak in the Woods

Man, we thought Wheezy the goat was pregnant, but my sis called me to tell me that she'd had a miscarriage. I asked if she was sure, and yes, she was. She bury'd it, and had an appt. she had to go to, but I was on my way home, and she asked that I check on the goat when I got home. Of course, when I got home, I forgot, as there was someone in my driveway who wanted to talk to me about a job, and I sat on the back porch with him discussing it.

We were in the middle of that chat, when I heard that call, WAY OUT BACK....all the goats were lined up at the front of the fence, this had nothing to do with them, this was a sound I'd heard before, and at that moment talking to the guy, I must have gone white. Eyes wide, I stood up without explanation, and took off like a rocket for the back. He's yellin' "WHAT WHAT!" All I could do was hold up a finger, I was worried I'd jinx what it was that I heard. Hope against hope I'm fumbling with the gate chain, I loop it back around the gate, hope the goats don't escape and go to haul ass, but I hear nothing. I stop. I wait. I hear it again, and take 5 steps. I stop. I wait, I walk, I hear it again, quickstepping towards the sound, and I see the tree where we put my dad's ashes,(his name was Earl) I walk behind that tree, and there she is. Half covered with the sack she was born in, her one eye is plastered, dry, and one ear, Wheezy must have licked her for just a moment and then totally freaked out. The baby goatie is essentially dry under the sticky spoo that covered her rear half, and i scooped her up and it came off on me, i threw it as far as i could, and it slid off her eye and ear, and the baby was soooo happy to see me. She was rooting around, a great sign, she was healthy and I was so relieved. I thought seeing she was behind the Earl tree, the name was Earline. Tacky 'nuff?



I came walking up to the fence, as the guy who I ran off on was walking back to the fence. OMG! He yells, Who's is that!!?? I told him Wheezys! She had come by us to see the baby, but when I set the baby down, she took off, like , don't get that thing near me! It HURT!

Bill, the guy's name, totally flips out. He says, That goat is goanna starve! What do i get it? Where do i get it? I told him Colostrum, baby goat food and a baby bottle, and he was gone.
My husband came home, and after having gotten the miscarriage message on the phone, he was crazy happy. I called my sis, who was at a concert. I held the phone out, let it ring, and when she picked up, the baby goatie made a baby goatie wail that made my sister run out of the concert hall to the lobby. It was truly a very happy moment. There is nothin' like a baby goat. Sweet, immediately headstrong, warm, fuzzy, docile. CUTE!

We took her into the house after several rebuffs by the mom, and I'm thinkin, o GAWD i don't want a house goat, it has taken me forever to get a chicken we raised in the house to understand (partially) that she is not entitled, but thats all I need, all my mango leaves gone, all my flowers eaten, cause we raised a goat to be up by the house. I don't think so.

We decided on a plan of action, we had to tackle the wild mom goat. Got'er. I had to milk a goat for the first time in my life while Nico held her, and was underwhelmed by the quantity, but that colostrum within the first few hours is really essential for the baby. The baby, upon arriving at the house, was totally cleaned by Mona the Poodle, who assumed that it was now HERS and I am surprised that this fixed dog didn't lactate. She cornered the baby goat on her bed an slept with her. She's never done that, she won't even touch the black lab when she sleeps.

While this happened around 4 pm, the birthing part had happened maybe an hour earlier, and now it was getting to be 11 at night, and she'd not eaten yet. When my sis came home from the concert, she picked up the bottle i'd made (Bill was back from the store in a flash, with baby goat food, a huge tub of goat milk substitute, and a baby bottle from Kmart.) the baby ate like a pig. We were all hugely proud of ourselves, and decided that the mother goat might be receptive to somebody to empty her huge milk bag which must have hurt like hell... if we locked em up together. The baby naturally has a rooting instinct, and if they were together, the baby can smell where the milk is, if Wheezy would let her near her. We trapped her in the barn, and as there is no door, we boarded em up, with a little pan of water and food for the mom and straw down for a clean place to sleep. (You can't put a deep pan of water down near any new baby anything) Sure as hell, the baby nursed, Wheezy acquiesced from pain, and for a week we kept them together. Wheezy is still not sure what the heck happened to her.



She still looks at the baby like, WHY? She gets concerned if she can't see the baby, makes noises, but nothing like an experienced mom would... moms that are used to it continuously talk to their babies, and their licking stimulates the babies to nurse. Wheez still has never licked the baby, I think that the Poodle spit was too much of an insult to take. Next time.

Clik on the title of this post to see my Nico and Earline Movie, its a Quicktime 10M, so it loads slow, but I think worth it. ha.